The Major Cliche
by libaka
Summary: Draco and Hermione announce their love to Hogwarts. A parody of DMHG relationships. Not dissing them. also slight HPPP, RWLL, GWBZ. funny! but very random. oneshot


Hi all, hope you enjoy the fic! I think it's funny, but then I wrote it. Tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't live in England, I don't have kids, and I'm not JK Rowling. Ergo, I don't own Harry Potter. I do somewhat own this idea, but so many other people have done something similar…

Draco strolled along the dungeon corridor, gloating over his domain. At Hogwarts, he was the supreme, the king of kings, the man who led the followers. At least, that's what he was in Slytherin. Scar head was the king in Gryffindor and Draco could bet that, although they weren't in those houses, the bookworm was the supreme of Ravenclaw and the Weasel was the 'head' of Hufflepuff because he was such a fool. But then, Draco didn't really care about those two; he was focused on the Pothead.

Suddenly, Draco heard a scream and, without thinking, he ran towards the sound. He was head boy, after all. (Of course that buck-toothed beaver was Head Girl, but he didn't really mind…) As he rounded the corridor, he collided with a black caped man and fell to the floor. Standing up again, Draco saw the bookworm pressed into the corner, staring up at the man in horror as he turned his wand towards her. Draco, without thinking, as he would say later, whipped out his wand to stupefy the man. Draco ran over the man's fallen body, and knelt beside the frightened girl.

"Hermione! What's wrong? Are you alright?" Draco heard his voice crack, but he ignored it in favor of listening to the girl's reply.

The bushy-haired girl stared up at Draco. "W-what did you call me?"

Draco blushed. "I-I, uh, I think I called you H-Hermione."

Hermione slowly stood, accepting Draco's outstretched hand as she pushed herself off the ground.

"T-that's what I thought I heard…"

Draco released her hand quickly, swiping at his hair as it fell into his eyes. "W-well, Gran-Hermione, I think I need to tell you something…"

Hermione looked up at the tall boy. She watched silently as he struggled with words and then opened his mouth to speak.

"Y-you see, I love you, Hermione. I have for a long time." Draco flushed as the words fell from his lips, and he ducked his head, waiting for the girl's laughter or derision. He didn't expect to have the girl fling herself into his arms.

"I-I like-love you too, Draco…" Draco froze for a moment and then slowly wrapped his arms around the girl. After a few moments, the two pulled back, blushing ferociously as the avoiding one another's gaze. Regaining his composure, and, of course, his ego, Draco puffed out his chest, and decided to put on the suave.

"Really? Well, I suppose that means we're a couple now. Let's go inform your lapdogs and I'll inform mine, okay?" Grabbing her hand, Draco began strolling down the hall, determined to come clean with his feelings. Hermione nodded behind him, determination clear on her face.

The two strolled into the Great Hall, for it was breakfast time and the rest of the school was there. Shrieks were heard from the females of the Slytherin table when they saw whom their god had just walked in with. Draco continued, heading for the Head Table with Hermione right behind him.

Arriving there, he turned to face the crowd of students, all of whom were waiting with bated breath to hear what he had to say.

"Today, approximately four minutes ago, Hermione Granger here and I professed our undying love for one another. I hope that you all will accept us, and follow in our footsteps with house unity." At that, amidst the shouts of disbelief and horror, Draco turned to Hermione and leaned over to press his lips against hers. Dropping her books, Hermione threw her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Both ignored the enraged shouts of Ron, who was prepared to deck Draco then and there had Harry not knocked him out, the screams of horror emitted from the Slytherin table aside from Pansy, who was eyeing Harry with pure lust, and Blaise, who was crying his eyes out on her shoulder because he had secretly adored the bookworm.

Ginny stood up suddenly once the two had stopped for breath, and raised her goblet to say, "Hail to that! A toast to House Unity!"

Dumbledore stood up to agree. "Amen! Now, once you two have finished, I can prepare a wonderful set of rooms just for the two of you so you can get to know one another better. Lemon drop, anyone?"

Pansy waltzed over to Harry. "Hey, Harry, wanna give it a go?"

Harry stared up in fear, then smirked like a Draco-clone. "Sure, Pansy, that's sounds great!"

The two were ignored completely, allowing them to make-out right then and there while Snape tried to burn his eyes out from disgust. McGonagall reached over to pat the man on the head, otherwise ignoring his antics.

Ginny looked around the room. Seeing her brother still unconscious, she grinned widely and walked over to the Slytherin table while Hermione and Draco discussed with the headmaster the plans for their rooms.

Ginny plunked herself down next to the sobbing Blaise to say, "Hey, you know she's not the only fish in the sea."

Blaise picked his head off the table to stare at the gorgeous girl sitting next to him. She grinned, stole the toast off his plate, and stood from the table to leave the hall. As she stood he replied, "Well, once you're done ogling the other fish in the sea, how about we go for a swim?"

Ginny grinned seductively over her shoulder as she flounced off to inform her bud Luna about her successful pick-up of the elusive yet drop-dead gorgeous Blaise. Luna dreamily responded with a 'Does this mean your brother's up for grabs?' and then poked her head back into the Quibbler without waiting for a response.

Hermione turned to Draco with a grin up at the head's table. "Do you think I'll be pregnant soon? That would be wonderful! Whatever shall I name the baby?"

Draco smirked, lightly kissed her on the lips and replied, "I think we'll just have to see about that!"

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Don't. Ask. I. Have. No. Idea. How. I. Made. This. Up.

Actually, I do know that the Ginny Blaise interaction comes from Love's Potion, a DracoHermione fanfic. I read it about an hour ago and that line had me laughing. I don't remember who wrote it though.

The rest I got from some parody of a Draco Harry relationship. It had me laughing because I can't stand that ship, and somehow I turned the idea around in my head to get this. And I do like DracoHermione, if no one can tell from my favorites list…

REVIEW!

Thanks to TamX2 for beta-ing!

MWAHs to y'all!

(TamX2 taking over…. "Hehehehehehehehe…..how weird…Libaka, you scare me…randomness! Okay, done betaing…ciao!")


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